Thatcher, Gandhi and Feminism

I am no expert on politics or history, my knowledge is pretty limited and i am not professing to know it all, but Margaret Thatchers death last month and the public reaction has really played on my mind.

This woman was the first female (and so far only one to come even close) to become prime minister, from 1979-1990. Lets not forget she was reelected 3 times. She was an ill woman, with kids, grandkids and a broken heart after the death of her husband, yet the "Great" British public were delighted, pretty much dancing on her grave! I was outraged, ashamed and disappointed. I could maybe understand the reaction to a degree if she had passed away while in power, but 20 years later? It is disgusting if you ask me. Most of the people I could see laying into this woman were men of my age, who probably don't even vote, and probably don't even remember her as PM. I am not a Tory and I don't know enough about her time in power to know if I would have voted for her, but I do have a heart, I am compassionate and I am utterly disgusted at the reaction to her death.

Similarily in India, Indira Gandhi was the first female (and again, only) prime minister of India in 1966-1977 even before Maggie. How amazing a country which still treats women as second class citizens elected a woman to run them time and time again (Indira was also re-elected in 1980 where she ruled until her death in 1984). How inspiring for young women in India. Indira was murdered by her sikh body guards after she ordered troops to invade the golden temple in Amritsar in 1983 - because it was believed terrorists were operating below it! In her post mortem it was discovered she was hit by 30 bullets. People have criticised her for the decision to invade the golden temple and still do now 20 years later. Yes, innocent people died, just like in the falklands but in most prime ministers or presidents reign time in office, it is an unfortunate truth that wars against terror are fought and tragically, innocent lives are lost. Indira's last public words, the day before her death were "I am alive today, I may not be there tomorrow. I shall continue to serve till my last breath and when I die every drop of my blood will strengthen India and keep a united India alive.”

So, what about Blair invading iraq? Lets not even start on Bush! Will their deaths be celebrated, will people continue to mock them and slate them 20 years after they left their jobs? I doubt it, i think although these mens act's and decisions were highly questionable, it is general consensus they just did their jobs. When Blair, Bush and co die will there be street parties and vile outbreaks of sheer disrepesct? I doubt it.

I find it interesting thatcher was called the iron lady, have any of our male prime ministers had a nickname with "man" in the title?

I think the public are afraid of women in power and found it so shocking these women instigated these invasions and thats why they get such a bad rap.

There is no denying Thatcher and Gandhi made some bad and questionable decisions and brought in some arguably terrible policies, yet i cant help think that if a man had done the same he wouldn't have had half as much of a hard time. In fact men have done it and not had so much bad press! Also it isn't like they made their decisions rashly, without any advice. Political leaders are surrounded by advisors.

Much has been said about how Thatcher wasn't a feminist, I think she probably didn't even need to think about feminism, and seperate herself from the men, she just got on with it, I read a quote and I wish I could remember who it was that said, when a woman reaches that position and is a true equal, feminism doesn't even need to exist anymore.

Apparently Margaret Thatcher was quoted as saying "feminism is poison" maybe she meant women could achieve the opposite of what they had hoped by segregating themselves too far?

I read that Thatcher did not focus on “women’s issues” apparently because she felt she had to avoid being pigeonholed. However, she always supported abortion rights, saying that “one of the worst things anyone can do in this world is to bring an unwanted child into it", and she was in favour of women being ordained in the church as priests.

Much has been made of the public spending on Thatcher's funeral, I agree it was excessive and the money would be much better spent elsewhere, would it have cost so much if we didn't have a large number of morons jumping on a bandwagon wanting to dance on her grave, therefore needing policing? Probably not.

I honestly believe that throughout their time in power, every decision made by these women was made with the absolute belief they were acting in the best interests of their countries, it may not have worked out that way, but they truly thought they were acting with their countries best interests at heart.

I believe anyone in a position of power, from CEO's to country leaders should be accountable for their decisions while they are in power, but when their time in office ends, when they reach old age, or in Gandhi's case are taken too soon, we should show a little respect. RIP ladies, your legacy lives on and you inspired generations showing women can be anything they want to be.

A month in review - April 2013

April 2013 was a pretty good month for me so i thought i would look back on this first weekend in May and share some of my favourite things from the month with you!

Book
I read a LOT of books in April, not just because I was lounging on the beach a fair bit, but also as the IPL (Indian Premier League - not hair removal!) started so I was, and still am, subjected to cricket games on TV every single night! My book of the month has to be The Expats by Chris Pavone. This was recommended to me by my favourite author of all time, Emily Barr. The Expats is primarily set in Luxembourg but it does hop about all over Europe, and I cannot resist a book which transports me around the globe. I won't spoil it for you, but the book is about a married american couple and the wife is an ex CIA agent, however her husband doesn't know. This book is a really good thriller that literally had me on the edge of my seat and i did shout out in a couple of parts, Sushil was rather concerned about me! Anyway if you want a good read that you will not be able to put down with a few twists that will keep you guessing, then get The Expats.

Restaurant
We eat out once or twice a week and love trying new places, but, my restaurant of the month has to be Magic Italy in Palolem, Goa. We have been there countless times and just cannot get enough of the place, i have never had Pizza so good!!! The restaurant is just off the main beach and if you ever go to Goa you MUST try it! The place is run by an italian family and is really chilled out, we sat on cushions on the floor around a low table with our friends Helen and Ziggy and had a delicious meal. I had the 4 cheese pizza with extra mushrooms and Sushil had half a lasagne and half a spinach mascarpone raviloli. We ate here the night after our wedding and it certainly removed any post wedding blues! Pizzas are huge and about £2, lovely! It is worth the 10 hour drive to Goa if you ask me!

Drink
I love my wine, especially fizz, champagne, prosecco or cava - in that order. Indian wine has a really bad rep, and to buy imported wine here you need to own a small country, a bottle of blossom chavvy hill costs almost £20 due to the laws on import tax! For our wedding I had all our UK guests organised to bring 2 bottles of prosecco over each so you can imagine my panic when I was left with only 4 guests coming from the UK, which was multiplied when 2 of said guests (parents) couldn't fit 4 bottles in their bags!!! We managed with a combination of forward thinking and begging favours so ended up with 10 bottles, but then I discovered indian champagne, Sula Brut. At 850rs a bottle its about a tenner and you know what, it isn't bad! Dry and very fizzy, the taste reminds me of my wedding(s) and is that good that I am currently planning a visit to the Sula vineyard! Cheers!

Outfit
Has to be my 1950's style wedding dress! I felt like a princess!

Recipe
As I am now a wifey I seem to have become some kind of masterchef, honestly I just cook and cook and cook! My 15 year old feminist self would be outraged! Even now I wonder, what have I become, cooking for my husband every night? But why should I feel bad? I enjoy it! Here is my mother in laws recipe for channa dhal with Ghiya, Sushils favourite dinner. I make this in advance as there is usually enough for a couple of days dinners, and we wolf it down with rotis - which I can finally make to the perfect softness and thickness but sadly still more shaped like India than a perfect circle. Ghiya is a vegetable quite common in India, I googled for the english translation and it is bottle gourd, if you cant find it dont worry, it's delicous without too!

A little hint for indian cooking is to buy the frozen ready prepared ginger and garlic cubes, if you use them they save a lot of time and for this you need one of each.

Also, the most important bit of equipment in Indian cooking as far as I am concerned, is a pressure cooker, I use mine every day!

Channa dahl with Ghiya
1 cup Channa Dahl
Half tsp mirchi (red chilli powder), haldi (turmeric) & salt
3 glass water
1/2 a ghiya
2 tbsp ghee
1 inch Ginger
6 small cloves garlic
1 onion
2 tsp jeera (cumin seeds)
1 tomato
Handful dhania (fresh coriander) washed and chopped (i just hack at it with scissors!)
1/2 tsp dhania (coriander) powder
1/2 tsp garam masala


Wash dhal and bring water to boil in pressure cooker uncovered with mirchi, haldi and salt
Put dahl in when washed
Peel Ghiya and cut in small pieces
Wash Ghiya and add to pot
Add 1 tbsp ghee
Put lid on pressure cooker and cook on medium flame, after first whistle reduce to low flame - cook for half an hour
Meanwhile, chop ginger and garlic
Chop onion
In another pan make tadka - Fry garlic in 1 tbsp ghee for 2 min then add jeera til brown on medium flame
add onion ginger - reduce to low flame
Chop tomato
Chop dhania
After 10 mins of cooking tadka add tomato
After 1-2 mins add dhania powder and garam masala powder
Stir then add fresh dhania, stir then remove flame & cover
After 30 mins open channa dhal and stir, mashing as you go
Combine with tarka

Serve !

Thats it from me then, I hope you liked this little review of my month, I'll do it again next month but I'd like to mix up the categories, maybe next time I'll talk favourite films, purchases, places etc! Happy bank holiday weekend all! X my photo of the month of April was created using Project 365, one of the best apps you'll ever come across! X

My Big Fat Indian Wedding (part 2)

I promised a few weeks ago i would blog about my wedding once it was over, so i sit as the new Mrs Goyal to tell you all about it!

I had the nerves any bride would, and having 3 weddings (yep!) you would think that would mean 3 times the nerves, but actually, knowing our first wedding was going to be a simple affair in court with our parents as witnesses, I felt quite calm as this also meant that by the BIG big day, we would already be married legally! I think my nerves weren't helped by my choice of reading material in the weeks prior to it, I read Gone Girl, The Expats, Amity & Sorrow, Fleet Street Fox and Silver Linings Playbook which are all books about messed up relationships and most have spouses keeping secrets from one another. Great wedding Prep!

So, 10 April 2013 is the day I became Mrs Emily Goyal on paper in a tiny little building in Pune. Mum and Dad arrived the day before and Sushils Mum was already staying with us. I had a lovely 50's prom style dress with a huge underskirt and I wore the jewellery my Nan wore for her wedding to my Poppa in 1956. 10 April is also my Poppa's birthday so I hope I did him proud. It was the weirdest feeling getting ready and I was overcome with excitement! We all went down to the court and hung around outside where I spun around and around in my dress because I was the bride and could do what I wanted! I had a lovely arrangement of roses purchased the night before for £4! We were eventually called into "court" where we signed a few forms then went into another room where we said our oath, which went something along the lines of "I, Emily clare Latham take Sushil Goyal as my husband from today". Bish bash bosh, marriage, done!

We came home and I made halva (a sweet dish) as Hindu tradition dictates for my new mother in law, then we opened champagne as our tradition dictates and them went out for lunch. By 3pm we were home, hot and tired so everyone went to bed. My 6pm we were all coughing and feeling dreadful! My mum had a very high temperature so Sushil and I ended up giving my parents our room which is the only one with AC in the hope they would get some sleep before the journey to Goa the next day! Not the wedding night I imagined!

We drove down to Goa the next day leaving Pune at 5am and reaching our far south beach destination by 3pm! We met our wedding planner and some friends, sorted out everyones accommodation (we had booked out a load of beach shacks) then on the Saturday once everyone arrived we had our mehndi party which was brilliant. At one point i was sat alone having my henna applied, hungry and thirsty but unable to eat or drink due to my hands being coated i looked out on the crowd of our friends and family and just thought, this is perfect. The gin and tonic with a straw from my mum was most welcome!

After an evening of dancing to bollywood hits we collapsed into bed knowing we had a big day ahead!

Wedding day morning and we had a hectic day! The wedding planner and his team were all at the beach putting up canopies and the like, I was stressing out about the order of events which was still unclear (India!!) so I went off to my mani pedi appointment with my good friend Helen. It was not a relaxing experience! After an hour of filing, scraping, massaging and long pauses, my toes were still not painted and they hadn't even started my manicure! It was 1:30pm and I was due to be married at 4, before that we had a hindu tradition which I couldn't shower before, needless to say I was in full on panic mode! We managed to get out by 2:15 and race back to the venue to meet sushils family & carry out a ritual of having turmeric applied to our faces, shoulders, knees and feet! I got a bit emosh when my sis in law applied it to me and said, "I'm doing this for your sister" (who couldn't be there). I jumped in the shower to find no clean towels so had to dry myself on the minging towel I'd used to wipe the turmeric off! I did my hair and then it hit me, I was about to get married and I was getting ready on my own! No bridesmaids, no friends, no sister. I had a little wobble then pulled myself together and stomped down to my mums beach shack with a bag full of make up and my dress!

By 4:30 I was ready but not all our guests had arrived! Only in India can you tell everyone to be there by 4 and still be waiting half an hour later! By about 4:45 I got the nod from my friend and photographer that everyone was in situ, and my Dad walked me down the "aisle". It was beautiful, there were gorgeous flowers everywhere, it was sunny, I was beaming. When the first bars of Halo by Beyonce played (I very nearly walked down the aisle to the Rocky theme thanks to Sushil playing a prank!) my legs turned to jelly and I got teary. Dad and I paused for a moment then we went for it. Some how i managed to walk across the sand to Sushil and we exchanged vows, randomly there was a guy with a guitar who serenaded us with Elvis and Stevie Wonder, my mum and Helen did beautiful readings, and then we were married!

We had a lot of photos on the beach, did i mention we had an elephant? I didn't ride it but I don't regret that decision as I am sure I would have fallen off or at least ripped my dress!
As the sun set I remember feeling incredibly happy and then it was time to do it all again, Hindu style!

I raced to my room and changed into my sari with the help of my mother in law. I can see now why indian brides often look so miserable, it was hot, i had a LOT of make up on, I was silently praying to the gods of perspiration to go easy on me, and my jewellery was damn heavy, not to mention the weight of my sari!

We sat down for the hindu ceremony which is all a bit of a blur now! The priest was chanting away while Sushil was whispering to me "this isn't a punjabi style wedding!" I was whispering back "we're in Goa!!!". The only word I thought I understood the hindu priest say was Machete which made me giggle, then he started throwing rice at us and that was it, I had a full on giggling fit! I hadn't eaten all day so when the moment came to feed each other indian sweets I almost bit Sushils hand off! We then had to stand and make 7 promises to each other (which we had hastily scribbled down the night before) and walk around a fire after each promise, the promises ranged from "I promise to make you proud" to "Impromise to pick up my laundry" to "I promise to love you and tell you I do every day". After all that we finally sat down to have a drink and chat with our guests. We went to grab some food and realised someone had already cut our wedding cake, and half of it had been eaten! We had our speeches, I did one, so did Sushil and then my dad said some lovely words. We then hit the dance floor to our first dance, I love you baby (frankie valli NOT The 90's dance hit) which was closely followed by Jai Ho! We danced, we drank, we laughed and we went to bed pretty early as Sushil was feeling so ill! The next day when we got up most of the evidence of our wedding was gone from the beach, I kept looking out and thinking how mad the day before had been. We spent 4 more days at the beach and then moved on to a 5* in Goa for a few days of pampering and relaxation!

I keep being asked if I feel different now, and its hard to say! My name has changed and that is definitely going to take some getting used to. I already feel more secure and happy, but I also feel like I need something else to plan! I keep telling myself instead of hopes and dreams, i've got amazing memories. I can see now why so many people have kids so soon after marriage, its another project! Not that we'll be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet anytime soon, our energy is now focused on getting a life set up in the UK and seeing as much of the world together as we can, just the 2 of us.

People say your wedding is the best day of your life, I never thought that could be true, there's so much to stress about, but when I look back now, I think these "people" may just be right! I just wish we could do it a fourth time!