I had the nerves any bride would, and having 3 weddings (yep!) you would think that would mean 3 times the nerves, but actually, knowing our first wedding was going to be a simple affair in court with our parents as witnesses, I felt quite calm as this also meant that by the BIG big day, we would already be married legally! I think my nerves weren't helped by my choice of reading material in the weeks prior to it, I read Gone Girl, The Expats, Amity & Sorrow, Fleet Street Fox and Silver Linings Playbook which are all books about messed up relationships and most have spouses keeping secrets from one another. Great wedding Prep!
So, 10 April 2013 is the day I became Mrs Emily Goyal on paper in a tiny little building in Pune. Mum and Dad arrived the day before and Sushils Mum was already staying with us. I had a lovely 50's prom style dress with a huge underskirt and I wore the jewellery my Nan wore for her wedding to my Poppa in 1956. 10 April is also my Poppa's birthday so I hope I did him proud. It was the weirdest feeling getting ready and I was overcome with excitement! We all went down to the court and hung around outside where I spun around and around in my dress because I was the bride and could do what I wanted! I had a lovely arrangement of roses purchased the night before for £4! We were eventually called into "court" where we signed a few forms then went into another room where we said our oath, which went something along the lines of "I, Emily clare Latham take Sushil Goyal as my husband from today". Bish bash bosh, marriage, done!
We came home and I made halva (a sweet dish) as Hindu tradition dictates for my new mother in law, then we opened champagne as our tradition dictates and them went out for lunch. By 3pm we were home, hot and tired so everyone went to bed. My 6pm we were all coughing and feeling dreadful! My mum had a very high temperature so Sushil and I ended up giving my parents our room which is the only one with AC in the hope they would get some sleep before the journey to Goa the next day! Not the wedding night I imagined!
We drove down to Goa the next day leaving Pune at 5am and reaching our far south beach destination by 3pm! We met our wedding planner and some friends, sorted out everyones accommodation (we had booked out a load of beach shacks) then on the Saturday once everyone arrived we had our mehndi party which was brilliant. At one point i was sat alone having my henna applied, hungry and thirsty but unable to eat or drink due to my hands being coated i looked out on the crowd of our friends and family and just thought, this is perfect. The gin and tonic with a straw from my mum was most welcome!
After an evening of dancing to bollywood hits we collapsed into bed knowing we had a big day ahead!
Wedding day morning and we had a hectic day! The wedding planner and his team were all at the beach putting up canopies and the like, I was stressing out about the order of events which was still unclear (India!!) so I went off to my mani pedi appointment with my good friend Helen. It was not a relaxing experience! After an hour of filing, scraping, massaging and long pauses, my toes were still not painted and they hadn't even started my manicure! It was 1:30pm and I was due to be married at 4, before that we had a hindu tradition which I couldn't shower before, needless to say I was in full on panic mode! We managed to get out by 2:15 and race back to the venue to meet sushils family & carry out a ritual of having turmeric applied to our faces, shoulders, knees and feet! I got a bit emosh when my sis in law applied it to me and said, "I'm doing this for your sister" (who couldn't be there). I jumped in the shower to find no clean towels so had to dry myself on the minging towel I'd used to wipe the turmeric off! I did my hair and then it hit me, I was about to get married and I was getting ready on my own! No bridesmaids, no friends, no sister. I had a little wobble then pulled myself together and stomped down to my mums beach shack with a bag full of make up and my dress!
By 4:30 I was ready but not all our guests had arrived! Only in India can you tell everyone to be there by 4 and still be waiting half an hour later! By about 4:45 I got the nod from my friend and photographer that everyone was in situ, and my Dad walked me down the "aisle". It was beautiful, there were gorgeous flowers everywhere, it was sunny, I was beaming. When the first bars of Halo by Beyonce played (I very nearly walked down the aisle to the Rocky theme thanks to Sushil playing a prank!) my legs turned to jelly and I got teary. Dad and I paused for a moment then we went for it. Some how i managed to walk across the sand to Sushil and we exchanged vows, randomly there was a guy with a guitar who serenaded us with Elvis and Stevie Wonder, my mum and Helen did beautiful readings, and then we were married!
We had a lot of photos on the beach, did i mention we had an elephant? I didn't ride it but I don't regret that decision as I am sure I would have fallen off or at least ripped my dress!
As the sun set I remember feeling incredibly happy and then it was time to do it all again, Hindu style!
I raced to my room and changed into my sari with the help of my mother in law. I can see now why indian brides often look so miserable, it was hot, i had a LOT of make up on, I was silently praying to the gods of perspiration to go easy on me, and my jewellery was damn heavy, not to mention the weight of my sari!
We sat down for the hindu ceremony which is all a bit of a blur now! The priest was chanting away while Sushil was whispering to me "this isn't a punjabi style wedding!" I was whispering back "we're in Goa!!!". The only word I thought I understood the hindu priest say was Machete which made me giggle, then he started throwing rice at us and that was it, I had a full on giggling fit! I hadn't eaten all day so when the moment came to feed each other indian sweets I almost bit Sushils hand off! We then had to stand and make 7 promises to each other (which we had hastily scribbled down the night before) and walk around a fire after each promise, the promises ranged from "I promise to make you proud" to "Impromise to pick up my laundry" to "I promise to love you and tell you I do every day". After all that we finally sat down to have a drink and chat with our guests. We went to grab some food and realised someone had already cut our wedding cake, and half of it had been eaten! We had our speeches, I did one, so did Sushil and then my dad said some lovely words. We then hit the dance floor to our first dance, I love you baby (frankie valli NOT The 90's dance hit) which was closely followed by Jai Ho! We danced, we drank, we laughed and we went to bed pretty early as Sushil was feeling so ill! The next day when we got up most of the evidence of our wedding was gone from the beach, I kept looking out and thinking how mad the day before had been. We spent 4 more days at the beach and then moved on to a 5* in Goa for a few days of pampering and relaxation!
I keep being asked if I feel different now, and its hard to say! My name has changed and that is definitely going to take some getting used to. I already feel more secure and happy, but I also feel like I need something else to plan! I keep telling myself instead of hopes and dreams, i've got amazing memories. I can see now why so many people have kids so soon after marriage, its another project! Not that we'll be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet anytime soon, our energy is now focused on getting a life set up in the UK and seeing as much of the world together as we can, just the 2 of us.
People say your wedding is the best day of your life, I never thought that could be true, there's so much to stress about, but when I look back now, I think these "people" may just be right! I just wish we could do it a fourth time!
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